The most animals to stand as candidates in the same election

The most animals to stand as candidates in the same election stands at 19, in the Local Authority elections of Bitstock, a town in Devon, Britain, in 2002. Candidates included Oscar, a Chinchilla (Independent), Lord Somersby, a Great Bernard (Independent), and Phillipa, a Baboon (Sum Dum Monkey Party). Oscar’s campaign manager and owner, Brenda Milthorne explained, “This was an organised protest over the fact that, despite 15 years of mismanagement and, many believe, corruption, our Local Authority is still headed by Dame Shirley Atkins, a convicted criminal who has expressed utter contempt for local democracy, and lives in Spain for 11 months out of every year.” Ms. Milthorne insisted that the number of candidates for the ‘animal protest vote’ may have been too high, as the number of votes they gained would have got 3 of them onto the Local Authority if it had been shared between fewer candidates.

Although none of the nominated "Bitstock 19" won their Local Authority elections, this Pug Dog, Dame Bickerstaffe, did successfullly stand for election as the town mayor 3 years later. Photograph provided by DaPuglet.

©2012 James Mathurin

Most erotic cooking instructions

The Most erotic cooking instructions are the 14th Century Persian book الغذاء ليالي الصحراوية الطويلة (roughly translated as "Food for long desert nights"), by an unknown author. It is only legal in 57 countries to print 3 extracts from the book.

This bound copy of the book was being used by Issamm Joabchim to produce a French translation for publication in Belgium in 1753, when his cottage exploded. When the book was the only thing to be found intact in the wreckage, it was confiscated by the Vatican as being a "Satanic Appendage". Image supplied by -MRTN-

©2012 James Mathurin

The worst Answer-Phone message

The world’s worst answer-phone message was recorded in 1987 by Chun Miki, an Elementary School teacher from San Bernardino, in America. She used a recording of herself giving birth, which she edited down to 4 minutes. When questioned by police, after complaints were made by a tele-marketing firm trying to sell her double-glazing insurance, she said, “I’m just so proud of my little boy, Ronald, and bringing him into this world was such an amazing experience for me, so I just wanted to share some of it with the world.”

Ronald Miki, photographed in 1995, modelling his mother's range of coin-made head wear, which was promoted as, "Channelling the mind's power through the Third Eye". Photograph from The Next Web.

©2012 James Mathurin

The most disfiguring self-inflicted injury sustained in a sharp-shooting contest

The most disfiguring self-inflicted injury sustained in a sharp-shooting contest was sustained by Phillip ‘Panama’ O’Grady, in the ‘Jones’ Regal Annual Shoot-Off’, held in Kaiserslauten, Germany in March 1984. After hitting a bulls-eye in the main event, O’Grady habitually blew the smoke off of the barrel of his gun. However, this time the gun fired, blowing off the middle of his top and bottom lips, and taking off the end of his nose. O’Grady went on to collect Bronze in the competition, but refused to get cosmetic surgery, insisting, “This may be my chance to become a mainstream media celebrity. My Agent is already in talks with Thames Television about the possibility of starring in my own Comedy-Western series.”

'Panama' O'Grady, pictured in training for the Jones' Regal event in 1984. Picture by Augie Schwer.

©2011 James Mathurin

Life narration

Wilholm Friedland , of Trompe-Souris, France spent 15 years and 17 weeks narrating his life, starting in May 1984. Interviewed in 1990, he commented, “’It has made communication with my wife problematic, as I say out loud thoughts I would normally keep to myself,” He said, thinking of the time when he had announced his desire for the waitress at the Three Roosters at the breakfast table.

Friedland, pictured in a Tours market in 1999. Shortly after this photograph was taken, he was arrested by a female police officer for making comments as he passed her which she, "refused to record." He was later released without charge. Photo by istolethetv.

©2011 James Mathurin

The World's Worst Ball Boy (Tennis)

The world’s worst ball-boy (tennis) was Pierre Gussette, a ball boy at the 1921 Lyon Open tournament. In the first match he was involved with, he managed to topple the Umpire’s chair twice, tried three times to run through the net, threw nine balls into the crowd, one of which hit the visiting King of Norway, and blinded one of the players, Gustaf Smick, who he had completely ignored until the fifth game of the second set. His ‘attack’ on the King of Norway almost caused a diplomatic incident, for which the French government was forced to imprison him for 7 years.

A ball-boy at a local Parisian Tennis Association match, fulfilling the role of 'Gussettier', an honorary position bestowed to the most 'sinister' ball-boy at some matches. Photo by pupismyname.

©2011 James Mathurin

The Fattest Ninja

The fattest ninja ever was Kenji Musoka, according to records from the 13th Century. He achieved this distinction while on an assassination mission, when he found himself trapped in a barrel of lychee syrup. Using stealth-breathing techniques, Musoka was able to hold his breath while submerged in the syrup for 4 hours, but after that period, was required to start consuming the syrup, in order to breath. After gaining room to breath, he was still unable to move, and so had to consume the rest of the syrup, until he was able to escape from the barrel, now weighing 21 stone. Despite the dramatic weight-gain, Musoka was still able to complete his mission to assassinate the mayor of the town of Shizuka.

Musoka is remembered by some fringe groups in Japan to this day, and is remembered and honoured in the form of 'waga ninjas', soft dolls which take the appearance of a fat ninja. This example was photographed by Annie Mole.

 ©2011 James Mathurin