Most teeth lost in an hour

The highest number of teeth lost in one hour was 27, by Art “Bridges” McBride, 37, of New Jersey, in the United States of America. At 11:30 AM, on June 25th 1984, Art had just had his 6-monthly company health check-up, at the Smilin’ Uncle Bernie Hubcap Corporation’s New York State Headquarters, and it was confirmed that he had 29 teeth, all healthy. At 12:17 PM, however, he had checked into his local hospital’s Emergency Room, with only 2 teeth remaining, his 2nd upper and lower molars. Although it was suspected that he had either knocked them out himself, had got into a fight, or sold them on the Black Market, there was no sign of physical trauma, or even bleeding, which seemed to discount all of these possibilities. McBride said, “I have no idea what happened. The first I knew was when I went to bite into a carrot and meatball ciabbatta, and all I could do was make this slurping sound. What really worries me is if there’s some jerk out there, running around with my teeth.”

McBride, pictured three weeks before the 'Ciabatta Incident'. Photo courtesy of Spiky Gaijin

©2009 James Mathurin

The record for shouting “Cha cha taxi Chi chi”

The record for shouting “Cha cha taxi Chi chi” most times in 52 seconds was set by Cyril Barnaby, 58, from Chipperwick, Hants in 1985, which he directd at Jenss Tjóblid, the visiting mayor of Bornbild, the Danish town with which Chpperwick is twinned. He later told his local newspaper, “It started out as a joke, but it quickly became my passion. I feel I’ve left a legacy for my grandchildren, and I hope it will persuade Britons not to go into the EEC.”

Cyril Barnaby pictured half way through his record-breakig attempt, captured by indepedent news organisation, closelyobserved.

©2009 James Mathurin

The largest number of phones to explode in one house in one year

The largest number of phones to explode in one house in one year is 24, in 1997. It was in the house of Mary Davies, a resident of Columbus, Ohio. She told her local news channel, “A lot of people have said it was because of my pet Bush Baby, Bronson, marking them as his territory, but I think this is how angels communicate with us.”

Bronson, pictured in his habitat, which is now required by local ordnance to be kept at least 15 metres from any telephonic device. Photo courtesy of Eggybird

©2009 James Mathurin

Fights in a pre-match boxing press conference

The most number of fights to break out in a pre-match boxing press conference was 17, before a 1999 bout in London between Clarence ‘Badger Baiter’ McFadden and Jimbo ‘Peter’ Thatchell. Because of the promoter’s insistence that the conference be finished, it eventually lasted 1 hour and 44 minutes, although by the end, all but 3 members of the press had evacuated the conference hall. A further 31 fights broke out as the players returned to their hotel. Thatchell’s manager, Moses Jones, said, “with hindsight, we knew there was bad blood between the boys after one of Jimbo’s mates sold Badger’s mum a dodgy amplifier, so getting them adjoining rooms was a silly mistake on my part.”

Manager Moses Jones is led to meet Clarence ‘Badger Baiter’ McFadden's mother to offer her a new amplifier as a 'peace offering'. Photo by fredcamino.

©2008 James Mathurin

Kangaroo lapping an inflatable Kit-Kat

The world record for the largest number of laps by a kangaroo around a giant inflatable Kit-Kat is 754. It was set in a 12-hour stint by ‘Handsome Marvin’, a kangaroo owned by Dirk Foscombe, of New South Wales, Australia, on June 15th 2000. The record was unintentionally caught on camera by a local news crew, who were present to film the giant balloon, a star attraction at the Dirthump Town Fair. Mister Foscombe said, “Of course I’m chuffed that Handsome Marvin is a world record holder, but I’m well out of pocket. I hired that Kit-Kat myself, and only a couple of kiddies got on it before Marvin started circling it.” Asked why his kangaroo had done such a thing, Mr. Foscombe could only say, “His eyesight’s not that great. Maybe he thought it was Digger, my sheepdog who died last year. I’ve tried to explain it to Marvin, but he just can’t let him go.”

Marvin, pictured with owner Dirk Foscombe, on holiday in Europe in 2001. Picture courtesy of travisreitter

©2009 James Mathurin

The most delicious edible clothes

Officially, the most delicious edible clothes are chocolate Liederhosen of Das Herr Schmieklegrupper Patissertailors of Old Dusseldorf. According to the Journal of Consumable Clothing, "The family tradition of edible pantaloons stretches back at least 3 generations, to the 1892 debut of Heinrich Schmieklegrupper's marzipan bathing suits. Today, Frank Schmieklegrupper maintains his families traditions with aplomb."

A model wearing a pair of Schmieklegrupper's Caramel Leiderhosen and matching socks at the 2004 Rotterdam Edible Legwear Expo. Photo courtesy of Skype Nomad. The judges declared the design, "Bold, innovative and creamy."

©2009 James Mathurin

The most powdered milk consumed in one hour

The most powdered milk consumed in one hour was 23 kilograms. This was achieved in 1967 by Ursa Borisdotir of Reykjavik, Iceland, who said, “I was able to consume no more than 15 kilograms, until I found that I was able to consume a much larger amount if I only consumed the powder. The Assessors allowed this method, but only if I consumed the correct amount of water within 15 minutes of finishing, and then jumped up and down until the solution was mixed in my stomach.”

Borisdotir, pictured with his lucky plastic fork, 'Old Uli'

Photograph provided by That Other Paper

©2009 James Mathurin