The inventions of Dimitri Dutruv Pt. 6

One of Dutruv's more controversial, and less well documented scientific escapades was his 'Metro Mass Driver' series of experiments. These represented the period where Dutruv developed an interest in the self-styled "Guerrilla Science" movement, which encouraged,

Systems of experimentation and technological development, freed of corporate and government sponsorship, staid academia and restrictive Health and Safety restrictions, by utilising the environment and resources we find in it.

For Dutruv, this involved utilising several miles of the Tunnelbana Metro system in Stockholm in order to attempt to turn an unmanned Maglev (Magnetic Levitation) vehicle as a 'DIY mass driver', in order to create 'miniature Black Holes'. Although Dutruv often worked alone, the scale of this project required him to ask for assistance from Guerrilla Science, specifically to help him hack into the Tunnelbana computer system to ensure that no staff were working overnight on the sections of track he was using, and to use two assistants he recruited from advertisements in magazines and tobacconists. Records of what happened are legally sealed by the Swedish government, but Dutruv was arrested and faced legal charges, and at least one of his assistants may have been removed from the spacetime continuum as a result of the experiment.

This picture was taken by 'Guerrilla Scientist' Pacopus, and is said to show Dutruv, the surviving assistant, and the unidentified 'hypothetical' assistant, who has come to be known in online discussions as 'Assistant H'.

Dutruv was released from the custody of the Swedish police without being charged. The investigating officer, Faltmo Lindegaard, explained,

While we do feel that some kind of offence took place here, our suspicion is that the victim, if indeed there ever was one, has been erased from all of time and space, and as such, the crime remains purely hypothetical, even though we believe that it did happen. This is confusing, and well beyond our jurisdiction.

Although details of this investigation were not included in the remains of Dutruv's work, after his death in 1996, several of the 'Guerrilla Scientists' who knew of it posted discussions about it on various online message boards, saying that they felt it should stand as a tribute to Dutruv's contribution to human understanding.

©2011 James Mathurin

The most corrosive hamburger sauce

The most corrosive Hamburger sauce ever was Kathter’s Old Number 9, a concoction created on a Texan farm in 1972 by retired Chemist Peter Chan. Although he kept the ingredients secret, he told Hamburger Review magazine, “it contains 5 different types of chillies, and gunpowder for seasoning.” Chan was later taken to court by PETA, accused of killing several sows by testing his sauce on them when it was still in its experimental stages. Kathter’s Old Number 9 was eventually taken off the shelves in 1975, when it was discovered that one of the ingredients used  by Chan had actually been extracted from the larval form of a rare parasitic wasp which was on the Endangered Species list.

The results of the application of 75ml of Kathter’s Old Number 9 to an undercooked quarter pounder. Chan noted that the bottle did carry the disclaimer "contents may become volatile if brought into contact with raw meat products." Photo copyright of Public Domain Photos.

©2011 James Mathurin