The least-noticed middle name

The world’s least-noticeable middle name is “ “. It is the middle name of Harold   Bashouka, born in 1967. Bashouka’s parents, Gibbe and Henkara, both of whom are judges in their native Poland, actually stipulated that on any official form, there must be an extra space between his forename and surname, or his initials can be represented as “H.   . Bashouka.” Speaking at Harold’s inauguration as President of the local Flint Collector’s club, Gibbe Bashouka explained, “We hoped that, by putting a little void into his name, we could encourage our son to stop and meditate every time he thinks about himself.”

This photograph of of Harold (l) and Gibbe (r) Bashouka is on display at the Warsaw Flint Collector's Association. The frame is inscribed "In commemoration of our third-greatest President, H. . Bashouka, and the parent whose name-based motivation pushed him to the heights which he achieved.". The photo is now property of U-g-g-B-o-y-(-Photograph-World-Sense-).

©2010 James Mathurin

The inventions of Dimitri Dutruv Pt. 4

Dutruv's plans for the Mechanical moustache never got much further than a prototype which he tested on one subject. His original designs showed that he had envisioned it as "a device allowing the modern man-on-the-go to discreetly have at his disposal several useful devices, such as a toothbrush, cigarette lighter, collar-affixer and neck-massager, all operated by animatronic appendages concealed by a manly moustache, which could be groomed to a handlebar design, or any other style, as whimsical fashions will inevitably dictate."

This image of the mechanical moustache was captured in a photograph which has since been donated by the Dutruv estate to the Art Institute of Portland. The subject, Dutruv's sometime laboratory assistant Tomasz Kolvski, described the sensation of the automated features as, "Initially foreboding, but afterwards, quite comfortable." The prototype was abandoned after Kolvski was injured by the cigarette-lighter feature, although unsubstantiated rumours persisted for some time that the Dutch military had purchased the rights to develop a weaponised version of the automated moustache from Dutruv.

©2010 James Mathurin