Highest number of accents in a minute

The highest number of accents used in a minute was 58, and was achieved by Adrian Wilnjes of Eindhoven, Holland. Wilnjes, who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder, went through 58 distinct accents when he called into Holland’s leading radio talent show (whose title roughly translates as Show Us Your Mill-Master’s T-Bone Steak!), on 31^st July 2004. He later told his therapist, “Although I have over 60 personalities inside me, only 2 of them were involved in the telephone call. You see, they’re both amateur impressionists, and were competing against each other.” Wilnjes said that setting a new record was a consolation, as, “Neither of them are very funny.”

Ruud Ditvenhooy, host of Show Us Your Mill-Master’s T-Bone Steak! remembers Wilnjes as, "One of the most electrifying acts it has ever been my privelege to witness with my own ears. He could have gone all the way if not for the... unpleasantness that happened." Details of the 'unpleasantness' have been sealed by Dutch courts until 2015. Photo by YuvalH.

©2009 James Mathurin

Worst ever theme party

The worst ever theme party was thrown in 1996 by the Kwik Stop Service Station Corporation. Their Christmas party that year was a “normal day at work” party. When the staff had finished working they were taken, by coach, to another Kwik Stop Service Station, which was closed for the evening (for fumigation due to start the next day, because of an infestation of Earwigs), where they waited, in uniform, behind counters and tills, serving the management for 4 hours, with a 15 minute “themed lunch break window”, in which they could sit in the unventilated staff room, where the coffee machine was set to ‘free vend’. The vending machine in question had run out of Bovril. Although staff were told they could be fired if they did not return to their till on time, or if they left early, they were told they would not be paid. “Who would seriously expect us to pay our staff to attend their own party?” asked the regional manager, Phillip Strubb. The company was able to claim a tax rebate on the cost of the evening by claiming it as “business expenses”.

The 'Chill-out room' at the Kwik Stop theme party. Photo by moriza.

©2009 James Mathurin