Worst ever hiring policy Infographic

There's a number of ways to get ahead in business, but that doesn't mean they're all good ideas.

©2015 James Mathurin

Worst ever hiring policy

The worst ever hiring policy of a business was adjudged by the DeToille business school to be that of International Patio Heaters inc. who, during the summer of 1996, only employed people if they had “business-oriented surnames.” They abandoned the policy after one of their deliverymen changed his name from Paul Goodsock to William Outsidethebox and was immediately promoted to Director of Human Resources, whereupon he doubled the salaries of the other deliverymen.

Outsidethebox, née Goodsock, leaving work for the last time, after being sacked for misappropiation of resources. An anonymous source suggested that he had actually been fired for "taking the piss." Photo by Ihuiz.

©2009 James Mathurin

Worst job promotion

The worst ever job promotion was when Alistair Jones, a worker at Melbourne Zoo, was made Vice-Executive Olfactory Presentation Technician in 1996. His duties consisted mainly of disposing of dung from the zoo’s ‘Waste Intensive Mammals’, chiefly Elephants and Rhinoceroses, and cleaning their pens. Although these duties were identical to those of his previous position (‘Dunny Scraper’), the management of the zoo awarded Jones the promotion, at an identical wage, but with a 3 minute longer lunch break, after he “improved the efficiency of the zoo’s wastage recycling/disposal techniques.” Jones explained, “Well, there’s only so much crud you can shovel into the Polar Bear enclosure before folks start asking if they’re looking at Grizzlies, so I realised ‘hey, the chimps love to chuck their own around so much, why not line their cages with it?’”

Alistair Jones at work with one of the 'Waste Intensive Mammals' (photo by Muzina Shanghai)

©2008 James Mathurin,