Poorest-selling musical compilation

The poorest-selling musical compilation ever was Now, That’s What I Call Animals Getting Slaughtered 3. Belgian producer Marcus Bellepain, was actually surprised at the poor sales. “We only produced the first NTWICAGS for a joke, but were surprised when it got to 32 in the Belgian album charts, and 27 in the Swiss,” he said in an interview on May 7^th 2002. ”The second album didn’t do quite so well, but we really didn’t expect number 3 to sell only 6 copies, and half of them were returned within a fortnight.”

©2008 James Mathurin

Most severe case of sleep-walking

The most severe case of sleepwalking occurred in 1999. Rachel Fordless of Swansea, Wales, awoke at around 11:30pm on the 21^st July. In her sleep she dressed herself, took her purse, made her way to a 24-hour Internet Café and booked a ticket for herself to Glasgow, under the name Pietra Flambeau. She awoke in a Glasgow police station at 9:45 the next morning, having been arrested for assaulting two bouncers, leaving one in hospital.

©2008 James Mathurin

World's smallest roundabout

The world’s smallest roundabout is on the B247, in Walliesbottom, Sussex. It encircles a pond with a diameter of 1.25 metres, which used to be in the back garden of Marcus Sodbury’s house. When the new road was built in 2002, Mr. Sodbury’s house was demolished to make way for it, but due to a byelaw dating back to the 16^th Century, the pond had to be preserved, and the road had to go around it, rather than to the side, “lest Lucifer find his way o’er the vacant side of the lane.”

©2008 James Mathurin

The smallest recorded cardboard box

The smallest recorded cardboard box was constructed by Kenyan chartered accountant Manse Oskalja, in April 2004. The finished box measured 3mm by 4mm by 3mm. Oskalja said, “This is actually a bigger box than 3 which I constructed over the last 5 years, but I accidentally inhaled 2 of them, and my dog sat on the third, rendering it invalid in the Assessor’s opinion. I am glad to have set the record, but I will not be happy until I have repeated the feat of my previous, lost, boxes.”

©2008 James Mathurin

Most Pointless insult on vinyl

The most pointless insult ever recorded on vinyl was spoken by Inuit Peppor Kummel in May 1954. A visiting documentary maker recorded her telling her neighbour, “Your niece wears Azerbaijani slippers on Thursdays!” Asked about the meaning, she said, “It may seem meaningless to you, but she knows what I meant, and I feel very strongly about it.”

©2008 James Mathurin

Longest a telephone has been left off the hook

The longest a telephone was ever left to ring without being answered was 17 months and 5 days. It was due to Marcia Luffoni of Parma, Italy calling her boyfriend, Luca Baggabona before they set off on a round-the-world cruise on 5^th June 1975. “I called Luca to ask him to remember to bring his Gucci verruca sock, but before he answered I remembered I had forgotten to pack my Prada travel insurance document holder.” Unbeknownst to Marcia, Luca had already left his house, so his telephone went unanswered. Luca arrived at Marcia’s house before she returned to her telephone, and they left in a hurry, as they were running late. Thus, Marcia’s telephone remained off the hook, and Luca’s rang until he returned home on the 10^th November 1976. “I am just glad the phone was ringing, and not answered,” Luca said later, “As even our combined salaries could not have paid off such a bill.”

©2008 James Mathurin

Most appearances by a dead Soccer player

The football player who made the most number of appearances after dying was Greenlander Olkvijk Hamtlov, who died of an aneurysm in February 1992, aged 32. His embalmed corpse was played in goal for five matches by his club Bumblebee 1802, during which they conceded only 7 goals. The corpse was also selected for one international fixture, but was only an unused substitute. His club manager, Berf Volbenagg told the press, “Some have accused us of only picking Olkvijk so he could win this record, but his selection was purely tactical. I am glad this happened in winter, as we would not have been able to play him for as long as we did in a warmer month.”

©2008 James Mathurin