The world’s worst donut flavour

The world’s worst donut flavour was Stinky Bishop Icing with dry Marmite Sprinkles. The topping was developed was developed as part of a 1998 experiment by the Research & Development Department of Tasty Treets inc., a confectionary company based in New Zealand. At an inquest called after 3 people went blind at a taste trial fro the donut, head of development, Buddy ‘Bud’ Chappers said, “We have spent several years chasing the Holy Grail of the perfect flavour, or ‘PF’, and after running into dead end after dead end, we decided to try to formulate the worst flavour possible, or ‘WFP’, and try to reverse it. I never expected that it could permanently disable someone.”

There are few surviving photographs of the offending donuts. Few photographers could stand the smell long enough to focus their cameras. This photograph by tommy.chheng was taken with the aid of a gas mask, which was then disposed of in a hospital furnace.

 ©2012 James Mathurin

The ‘Punchy’ cult (The Fifth Pentecostal Glorification of the Beloved Saviour of the Sinners of East London)

The ‘Punchy’ cult (The Fifth Pentecostal Glorification of the Beloved Saviour of the Sinners of East London) achieved notoriety by predicting the Apocalypse 18 times in one year. Thomas Dobie, the leader of the cult, which was based out of Dagenham, London, preached to his 59 followers that God had revealed to him that the world would end when his son, Dave, brought a jar of mustard to his house, and that this would happen on 15th June 1985.

When Dave forgot the jar of mustard on June 15th, Dobie made the statement,

We know we cannot be wrong. God told me this was the date for the Apocalypse, but it appears not to have happened. What does this mean? That my vision was wrong? That I was misled? Impossible! Clearly our calendars have been altered by demonic forces, and the Apocalypse will happen, according

Unfortunately for Dobie, Dave failed to bring the mustard the next week, forcing Dobie to reset the date of the Apocalypse again, to the 22nd. The mustard being forgotten on that day, Dobie's reinterpretation of the calendar in relation to the Apocalypse once again allowed him to move his prediction to a week later. 

This process continued over 3 months, until September, when Dave finally revealed to his father that he had been deliberately leaving the mustard behind as an act of revenge for the time that Thomas had been devoting to his cult, at the expense of his parental duties. In the fight which ensued, Thomas and several members of the cult were arrested and charged with affray. Both Dobies and 3 of Thomas' followers were sentenced to a total of 19 years in prison, effectively ending the Punchy organisation.

The Punchies headquarters in Dagenham. After the imprisonment of the Dobies and the collapse of the cult, it became an off-license, where 10 ex-members of the cult are still regular customers. Photograph by J@ck!.

©2012 James Mathurin

The worst ever lapse of memory

The worst ever lapse of memory came from Danish butcher Peter Dreichs, who announced to his wife Gherta, on the 15^th May 2002 that he had just remembered that he was actually Rich Cummings, the mayor of Craniville, Ohio, USA, and had simply forgotten both his job, name, home, wife and three children while on holiday in Denmark 12 years previously. Medical examination found no physical reason for his lapse, and a psychologist told the media, “It really does appear that he just forgot. His life was like a peanut down the back of a sofa.”

Peter Dreichsreturned to Craniville in 2004, but found his family had sold their house to the Kaufmann Tire company in the intervening years. He was eventually reunited with them on a special edition of the Ellen Degeneres Show in 2009. Photograph by Dougtone.

 ©2012 James Mathurin

Karmisticia Festival of Spoken Food

With Karmisticia being a mobile nation, as detailed in this previous post, its economy is unable to follow many conventional models. The climate means that agriculture faces many difficulties, and the tiny population and limited space mean that industry is also a non-starter.

As a result, the government of Karmisticia commissioned a tourism bureau, in order to manufacture "distinctive and uniquely Karmistician events, which will attract international tourism". The first of these events is the Karmisticia Festival of Spoken Food, an event where "Speakers" (poets, writers, actors and performers) are invited to pair up with chefs from around the world, whereupon they will share and discuss a 3-Course meal cooked by the chef, which the Speaker will then turn interpret into a 5-minute monologue.

French chef Andron Mibeu, preparing his meal's monologue with Lithuanian beatboxer Drops2. Photograph by C John Thompson.

©2012 James Mathurin

Longest cow-milking

The longest ever spent milking a cow was 7 months and 19 days, by Moldovan Artur Shmill. Interviewed after the 9^th week, Shmill explained,

“I cannot stop until I milk beer from this cow. It was a foolish bet, that I made with my cousin, but I refuse to give up.” 

Despite adapting the milking stool he sat on into a toilet, and handcuffing his hands to the cows udder to sleep, Shmill had to give up without success, when his right ring finger fell off, forcing him to go for medical attention.

Artur's cousin, Nicolae, transporting one of the752 deliveries of milk produced by Artur's epic milk. The horse, Prince Donkaevie, was eventually crippled by the excessive workload, but in order to save him from being rendered into glue and steak, the Shmill family adopted him in 2002. Photograph by sergejf.

©2012 James Mathurin

The longest prison sentence ever received for spitting chewing gum

The longest prison sentence ever received for spitting chewing gum onto a pavement was 17 years, imposed on Pierre Bonnechop by a court in Paris France, in 1976. Bonnechop had been seen spitting out 79 kilogrammes of gum on the rue de Cheveux, over 3 hours, on the morning of February 16^th that year. By the time he was arrested, the pile of gum measured 76cm high. Pleading guilty in court, Bonnechop told the Magistrate, Henri Poivre, “I don’t know what came over me, but for those 3 hours, literally all I could think was chew, spit, chew, spit, chew, spit. It may have been a reaction to my worries over the French dairy farming industry.”

After his early release in 1990, Bonnechop moved to this farm, outside of Tours. He has voluntarily taken part in several public awareness campaigns about public hygiene, including 3 videos where he appears as the anti-chewing gum mascot, "Le monstre qui mâche". Photograph by PhillipC.

©2012 James Mathurin

The world’s most severe case of déjà vu

The world’s most severe case of déjà vu was attributed to Glenn Mackerbie, of Harare, Zimbabwe in May 1998, after he spent fifteen years insisting that every day was one he remembered from before. His wife Gladys said,

“It has had such an effect on our life. I know he can’t help it, but my feelings were hurt slightly when I organised a surprise fiftieth birthday party for him, and he just said, ‘Didn’t we do this yesterday?’”

 The previous title holder, Nicole Panacetti, of Lisbon, Portugal, was disqualified when it was discovered that she had lived in the same room for 9 years, listening to the same Gladys Knight & The Pips LP, and reading the same copy of Barbara Cartland’s book Passion in the Ironmonger’s, and thus forcibly conditioning herself to constantly experience a ‘synthetic déjà vu.’

 Glenn and Gladys Mackerbie, pictured on vacation in the United States in 1997. Glenn's déjà vu continued on the trip, much to the annoyance of Gladys. She wrote in her diary of the trip, "Again, Glenn is asking if we have been here before. We haven't even visited this continent before!" Photograph by Mangrove Mike.

©2012 James Mathurin