The world’s most excessive instruction manual is produced by
Better Beverage Industries, of Houston, Texas. The manual accompanies their
novelty Easter coffee mug, with scenes of the crucifixion around the outside,
and the interior of the mug displaying a scene of Christ rising from his tomb, and has been packaged with the cup since 2006.
The manual runs for 95 pages, with detailed diagrams of the correct method of pouring in both hot and cold beverages (“It is not advisable to have a small child hold the cup above their heads while you pour boiling water into it.”), the correct way of holding the mug (“firmly, by the handle; do not raise arm higher than at a right angle to the body; do not consume while lying down; rest mug on a level surface, such as a table, when not in use.”), and the correct way of storing it (“If storing on a shelf, ensure the cup is fully on the shelf, and as little as possible is over the edge. If hanging from a hook, make sure that the hook is attached to something.”).
The manual is multilingual, and has translations in French, German, Spanish, Italian, Klingon, Dutch, Portuguese, Afrikaans, Swedish, Zulu, Hieroglyphics, Norwegian, and (inspired by the Mel Gibson film, The Passion of the Christ) Ancient Latin.
©2013 James Mathurin
The manual runs for 95 pages, with detailed diagrams of the correct method of pouring in both hot and cold beverages (“It is not advisable to have a small child hold the cup above their heads while you pour boiling water into it.”), the correct way of holding the mug (“firmly, by the handle; do not raise arm higher than at a right angle to the body; do not consume while lying down; rest mug on a level surface, such as a table, when not in use.”), and the correct way of storing it (“If storing on a shelf, ensure the cup is fully on the shelf, and as little as possible is over the edge. If hanging from a hook, make sure that the hook is attached to something.”).
The manual is multilingual, and has translations in French, German, Spanish, Italian, Klingon, Dutch, Portuguese, Afrikaans, Swedish, Zulu, Hieroglyphics, Norwegian, and (inspired by the Mel Gibson film, The Passion of the Christ) Ancient Latin.
An illustrative photograph from the manual, detailing on of 6 different examples of "cup racks, which may act as an alternative to shelves." The manual goes on to explain 7 differences between the methods of storage utilised with shelves and racks. Photograph by .Larry Page. |
©2013 James Mathurin
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