Longest-held Swear Word Infographic

Another old entry, redone as an infographic to add photographic evidence.

copyright © 2013 James Mathurin

The highest political office held by a sleepwalking sleepwalker - Infographic

Some say you should dream big, and you can achieve anything. Noel Thursen achieved a lot while dreaming.

©2013 James Mathurin

Dimitri Dutruv and catapulted School-children Infographic

Returning to Dimitri Dutruv's inventions, we find a security device foiled only by its impressive ability to render children airborne.

©2013 James Mathurin

The most animals to stand as candidates in the same election Infographic

Politics is a dirty business.Dirty and strange. And sometimes kind of cute.

©2013 James Mathurin

Infographic - Worst ever recorded orchestral recital

From 2010, one of the key pieces of overlooked operatic history.

©2013 James Mathurin

The Record for shouting “Cha cha taxi Chi chi”

This week's entry is confusingly titled, but here is the original article, and I hope Barnaby's record is inspiring for some of my readers.

©2013 James Mathurin

The Least memorable song lyrics - infographic

An infographic that really does have everything there is to say about the least memorable song lyrics ever.

©2013 James Mathurin

The First Football team to be managed by a computer (infographic)

A story of football, Artificial Intelligence and (rumoured) robot wives.

©2013 James Mathurin

Oldest Public Transportation System infographic

An infographic of the archaeological dig that discovered the world's oldest public transportation system.

©2013 James Mathurin

Dimitri Dutruv, and his mechanical moustache, Infographic

Another installment on the work of our favourite, dearly-missed and overlooked inventor.

©2013 James Mathurin

The most people ever converted to a religion Infographic

Infographic for a large-scale conversion.

©2013 James Mathurin

Meat Puppet Restaurant Infographic

Tales of devotion, wills and meat, in infographic form.

©2013 James Mathurin

The longest prison sentence ever received for spitting chewing gum infographic

Cautionary tales of mastication, now in infographic form.

©2013 James Mathurin

Most erotic cooking instructions Infographic

Important historical research, now in infographic form!

©2013 James Mathurin

World's biggest piece of cheese infographic

An infographic for the biggest piece of cheese, from 2008. Damn.

©2013 James Mathurin

The inventions of Dimitri Dutruv Pt. 3 - Infographic

Another Dimitri Dutruv invention, from 2010, now in Infographic.

©2013 James Mathurin

Most expensive computer repair infographic

A bit late in the day posting this. I will blame computer problems.

©2013 James Mathurin

Biggest Mushroom Omlette Infographic

Personally, I'm not such a fan of mushrooms. They seem to be dangerous.

©2013 James Mathurin

Infographic - Most Money found down the back of the Sofa

The infographic form of the 'el Día del sofá suerte' article. Don't forget to sign up to celebrate next year.

©2013 James Mathurin

Infographic - Youngest Case of Steroid Abuse

The infographic of this 2003 record.

©2013 James Mathurin

Most offensive joke infographic

This week's infographic, not to be confused with the longest-held swearword. This is very much its own animal.

 ©2013 James Mathurin

The tallest mound of chewing gum infographic

The infographic form of last year's Tallest mound of Chewing Gum piece.

©2013 James Mathurin

The most argumentative person in the world

An infographic of Alexei Shamunshumovich, the most argumentative person in the world.

©2013 James Mathurin

The World's Smallest Roundabout - infographic

Here is the infographic for The World's Smallest Roundabout.

©2013 James Mathurin

The Inventions of Dimitri Dutruv, pt. 2 Infographic

So here's our second Dimitri Dutruv infographic. The original article can be found here.

©2013 James Mathurin

Mickie the Chinchilla - Infographic

Here, in infographic form is the sad tale of Mickie the Chinchilla.

©2013 James Mathurin

World's most excessive Instruction manual Infographic

This one originally went up not too long ago, so here's the infographic version.

©2013 James Mathurin

The Inventions of Dimitri Dutruv, pt. 1 Infographic

So, here's the first Dimitri Dutruv entry, done in infographic style. Read and learn!

©2013 James Mathurin

Infographic of the world's largest snot bubble

This post was an early one that still seems to get a goof few hits regularly, so here it is, getting the infographic treatment, because I like that kind of thing.

©2013 James Mathurin

Dead cat infographic - back to the beginning!

Having been happy with last week's infographic about the Hitman's dog, I've made a few more, and here's one, developed from the first ever TYDKYDNTK (my, that is a cumbersome acronym) entry, back in 2008. I've been doing this 5 years! Blimey.

©2013 James Mathurin

The inventions of Dimitri Dutruv pt.10

After having developed technology for converting sound to smell, Dutruv embarked on a more ambitious offshoot of the project.

Having converted sounds to smell, Dutruv was convinced that language, meaning and, eventually, words, could be converted into specific smells. To this end, while working on several other projects over a 3 year period, he developed a "smell dictionary", a collection of 35,000 words (with 35,000 meanings), encoded as a series of scents, recorded on specially-treated pages.

This photograph shows an early test version of the smell dictionary (with only 1,500 words), which Dutruv used to test different treatments for stopping different 'smell words' blending into each other. 
Some pages are still annotated (in conventional pen) with comments such as,
"Some spreading between 'goose' and 'gondola'. Distinct impression of a bird-shaped boat, similar to those found in some amusement parks formed. Interesting, but a failure to clearly communicate meaning."
Photograph by J Dueck.

 ©2013 James Mathurin 

Bepe, infographic-style

This week is kind of an experiment, a way of presenting TYDKYDNTK articles is a more visual, share-friendly format. Feedback is, as always, appreciated. I'm sure you all remember Bepé, from a few weeks ago.

Edit:
Here's an edited version I made based on feedback from the Facebook page, which I've placed above the original:

 ©2013 James Mathurin

The final edition of Crank Up That Cheese

Jersey McClair was a presenter on the local Minnesota quiz show Crank Up that Cheese between 1984 and 1999. His final show became notorious after some unexplained comments he made during the live finale of the 1999 season.

McClair announced that the show would return after a commercial break, and then greeted the live audience with a "shocking announcement":

"I was supposed to explain to you that our two contestant, Darryl and Rebeca, are expecting a baby, but I feel that the time has well and truly come, where I have to explain that I am, despite appearances, a lizard man from the year 5000."

The signal was then cut, and McClair announed his resignation from the KBBOP channel the next day.

Darryl Marks and Rebeca Lampley, the contestants on the show, look on confusedly during McClair's statement. After transmission was cut, the couple signed a gagging agreement with the channel, so have not given any statement on what was going on behind the scenes. It is believed they were compensated with cruise tickets.. Photograph by jone.nyborg.

  ©2013 James Mathurin

fastest throwing of Chicken’s feet at circus clowns

The record for fastest throwing of Chicken’s feet at circus clowns was set by Canadian Pierre Kalynuk in March 1975. He threw 50 chicken’s feet in 1 min 12 seconds when the touring Crispin Circus visited his hometown of Buddirok. He said, “I’ve always hated clowns, but loved chickens. I feel that in setting this record I’ve expressed myself in a way I couldn’t have done otherwise.”

In this photograph, Kalynuk can be seen, entering the Crispin Circus from the North entrance, silhouetted in the door with a hat on. He purchased the chicken's feet from Todd Plinth, a food vendor outside. Plinth told the Buddirok Chronicle later, "Of course I was suspicious. I mean, some fella buying 9 packets of chicken feet ain't normal. Still, I thought, just how much damage can he do? Turns out that boy was fixing to do something wonderful with those feet."  Photograph by Bob n Renee.

 ©2013 James Mathurin

Bepé, the Hitman's dog

In 2012, Francois "Franky" Petitmal was implicated in 13 attempted and 9 successful assassinations across Europe and Central America between 2003 and 2009. Petitmal was notorious for always being accompanied by his dog, Bepé, a Boxer / Australian Stumpy-tailed cattle dog mongrel. 

Several witnesses from the failed assassinations spoke in court about having seen Bepé playing active roles in several cases, including supplying ammunition, distracting security, and mauling bodyguards. After protracted discussions,  prosecutors, in an unprecedented step, indicted Bepé as an accessory in a total of 15 cases.

While being transported to a hearing in November 2010, Bepé slipped free of his guards, dived through a passing tram, and lost himself in the crowd. He is still wanted, at large, and considered dangerous.

Bepé has not been seen since since November 2010, although a dog fitting his description was photographed, parachuting into an Eastern European demilitarised zone. Investigators connected to the Petitmal case have looking into the possibility that Bepé may be operating as a soldier of fortune. Photograph by by ♪_Lisa_♪.

 ©2013 James Mathurin

The Inventions of Dimitri Dutruv pt. 9

After becoming fascinated by the phenomenon of synaesthesia in the mid 1980s, Dutruv started research to develop technology to convert information from one sense into another. After experimenting with conversions between sound and taste, smell and sound, touch and vision and vision and taste, in 1987 Dutruv was able to establish a mechanism for converting smell to sound.

To demonstrate the technology, he converted several pieces of music into smell, using a series of chemical sprays to correspond to the different sounds. Those pieces included:

Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusic;

An instrumental version of The Beatles song Penny Lane;
Several tracks from Kraftwerk's Tour De France album, and;
Jimi Hendrix's seminal performance of The Star Spanged Banner, recorded live at Woodstock.

Although the technology worked successfully, the mix of chemicals induced allergic reactions in several of the participants.

Margerie Fontaine, a french test subject who volunteered to take part in the Penny Lane section of testing in Spring of 1988. In her debriefing after completion of the tests, she said, "I'm more of a Wings fan, but the smell of the Beatles makes me appreciate their work in many different ways." Photograph by by The Consortium.

 ©2013 James Mathurin

Music videos in the mountains

Cone Beat were a 1980's Irish band, a politically-oriented 4-piece, led by front man Mich Faighlty, ("nicknamed Moto"). On 15th April 1982, the band were travelling to film a video for their song, Ascension Day, when the private aeroplane they had rented was forced to touch down for an emergency landing in a remote expanse of snow in Poland. Although the video shoot was supposed to be filmed at Lublin Główny train station in the city of Lublin, Poland, Dave Moreign, their video director, decided to film it in the snowy hills where they had landed.

"The song was, well, OK," Moreign said in 1998, in an interview with Sight and Sound magazine, "And Moto's being a diva like always, so I says to the fellas, 'is there anyone here who wants to drag this bollocks out for another 3 days, or shall we just get it done while they're fixing the feckin' plane? An the vote was 3 to 1, so, yeah, we ended up making a bit of music history, if you want to call it that.'

Cone Beat fans meeting at the Snow Muzyka Skifarm, a Ski Resort set up by a local entrepreneur in order to capitalise on the annual pilgrimage of fans to the spot where the Ascension Day video was filmed. On 15th April every year, fans meet in order to re-enact the video. Since the addition of the chair-lift in 2000, some fans have used it to also re-enact the emergency landing of the plain, carrying papier-maché replicas of the entire plane, or pieces of the fuselage and wings. Photograph by KT Bell. 

 ©2013 James Mathurin 

The world’s most excessive instruction manual

The world’s most excessive instruction manual is produced by Better Beverage Industries, of Houston, Texas. The manual accompanies their novelty Easter coffee mug, with scenes of the crucifixion around the outside, and the interior of the mug displaying a scene of Christ rising from his tomb, and has been packaged with the cup since 2006.

The manual runs for 95 pages, with detailed diagrams of the correct method of pouring in both hot and cold beverages (“It is not advisable to have a small child hold the cup above their heads while you pour boiling water into it.”), the correct way of holding the mug (“firmly, by the handle; do not raise arm higher than at a right angle to the body; do not consume while lying down; rest mug on a level surface, such as a table, when not in use.”), and the correct way of storing it (“If storing on a shelf, ensure the cup is fully on the shelf, and as little as possible is over the edge. If hanging from a hook, make sure that the hook is attached to something.”). 

The manual is multilingual, and has translations in French, German, Spanish, Italian, Klingon, Dutch, Portuguese, Afrikaans, Swedish, Zulu, Hieroglyphics, Norwegian, and (inspired by the Mel Gibson film, The Passion of the Christ) Ancient Latin.

An illustrative photograph from the manual, detailing on of 6 different examples of "cup racks, which may act as an alternative to shelves." The manual goes on to explain 7 differences between the methods of storage utilised with shelves and racks. Photograph by .Larry Page.

 ©2013 James Mathurin

The most pointless speech

The most pointless speech ever given was an address to the board of GlamSinClean inc. by one of their Regional Directors, Gerald Hompknee, in 1991. In his presentation of annual figures, he started reading from a piece of homework by his 6 year-old son Jimmy, who had put it in his father’s briefcase for him to read. Mister Hompknee later admitted, “When I started reading from Jimmy’s ‘Why I’m not scared to sit on the toilet any more’ essay, I thought I was in real trouble at first, but I managed to turn it into a metaphor for management strategies, and it was actually very well received. In fact, I’ve had Jimmy and his little sister Elaine contribute to every speech I’ve done since.”

Hompknee, appearing at a University of Exeter conference on "Serendipity and Chaos Theory in Public Speaking" in 1999, . Photograph by University of Exeter.

 ©2013 James Mathurin